Oct. 2nd, 2009

mightydoll: (Default)
Just under 3 weeks before my 5th birthday, John Lennon was shot dead outside the Dakota (I'll get to how this pertains to Polanski, bear with me). At 5 years old it had never occurred to me that someone could just take away someone else's life. Murder was not a concept I'd ever considered and it was terrifying and devastating to learn about. I knew about death; my maternal grandfather had passed away the year previous, and I knew what devastation and sadness death caused. The thought that someone could cause that, and, further, that someone would want to cause that just blew my mind.

When I was about 12 or 13, I checked out the novelization of Rosemary's Baby from the library. I left the book on the dining room table one evening and my mother expressed disapproval. She expressed to me that she didn't think it was appropriate to consume Roman Polanski's media, because he had raped a little girl and fled the country. The cognitive dissonance in those words was similar to that which I experienced at 5.

He'd done it. Everyone knew he'd done it. He'd admitted to it and not shown remorse (and for all those who claim he has, I ask them to prove it. Certainly we've all read the quote from the Martin Amis interview by now: "If I had killed somebody, it wouldn't have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But...fucking, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to fuck young girls. Juries want to fuck young girls. Everyone wants to fuck young girls!") He'd been convicted and then, somehow, he was able to just waltz away. This rapist of a young girl, a child about my age, was living large in France and completely untouchable. How was that possible? 12 year old me wanted to know, how could that BE? Further, people were abetting his evasion. They were continuing to support and celebrate this man.

It sent a message to me then, that young girls are being sent now, that we were/they are less important than this story I was reading, (which incidentally, featured a terrifying rape scene or two).

When the news broke that Roman Polanski had finally been apprehended, I was jubilant. I turned to the internet, expecting a similar sense of celebration. For two days, almost everywhere I looked, I saw apologism, I saw celebrities I admired (and many I've never heard of) championing an admitted child rapist, and petitioning for his release. It felt like a kick in the guts. It feels like it did when I was 12 and I found out that it was even possible for someone to walk away. HOW my brain screams at me, HOW is it possible that people are taking this stand?

I've been obsessed with finding people who've spoken out against Polanski. I'm following the Dreamwidth list and the Shakesville list with a passionate need. I'm surprised, myself, with how personally I've taken this, with how obsessed (and obsessed really is the word, I'm a bit embarrassed to admit that I've thought of little else since the news broke) I am, and I think it just comes down to utter incredulity. I need to know that there are at least as many people out there willing to speak out against this subhuman waste of skin as there are trying to support him (and really, I don't give a shit about his art. I don't think I've ever seen one of his movies, and I'm pretty sure my life is not a swirling vortex of culturelessness because of it).

I'm just...so disappointed.

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mightydoll

February 2010

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